Why

Why   .....do Tesco's make the sick walk all the  way to the back of the  store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy  cigarettes  at the front.

Why   .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a  diet  coke.

Why   ......do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in the driveway and put  our useless junk in the garage.

Why   . .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille  lettering.

EVER   WONDER ....

Why  the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?

Why  women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why  don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why  is 'abbreviated'   such a long  word?

Why  is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?  

Why is lemon juice made with  artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real  lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money  called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest  traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?  

Why didn't Noah swat those two  mosquitoes? 

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal  injections? 

You know that indestructible black box that is  used on planes?  Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! 

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they  are all stuck together?
 

If flying is so safe, why do they call  the airport the terminal?

Why?  Good  question.

Now  that you've smiled  at least  once,  it's your  turn to spread the  stupidity  and send this to  someone you want to bring a smile to (may be  even a chuckle).....in other words, send it to  everyone.   We all need   to smile every once in a while.

The Phone Call

**Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**

**'Hello?'**

**'Hi honey.**

**This is Daddy.**

**Is Mummy near the phone?'**

**'No, Daddy.**

**She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'**

**After a brief pause,**

**Daddy says,**

**'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'**

**'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mummy,**

**Right now.'**

Brief Pause.

**'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.**

**Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs**

**And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mummy**

**That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'**

**'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'**

**A few minutes later**

**The little girl comes back to the phone.**

**'I did it, Daddy.'**

**'And what happened, honey?' **

'Well, Mummy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.**

**Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser**

**And now she isn't moving at all!'**

**'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'**

**'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.**

**He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window**

**And into the swimming pool.**

**But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water**

**Last week to clean it.**

**He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'**

*****Long Pause*****

*****Longer Pause*****

*****Even Longer Pause*****

**Then Daddy says,**

**'Swimming pool? ...........**

**Is this 4955 5566 ?'*

*No, I think you have the wrong number.........

read with an Italian accent

She tell'a me everyone wanna fock. I tell'a her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say better not fock on the table, you son'a ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call'a me a sonna ma bitch.

So I go to room'a in'a hotel and there is no sheits on'a my bed. I call'a the manager and tell'a him I wanna sheit. He tell'a me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna sheit on'a my bed. He say you better not sheit on'a bed, you son'a ma bitch. I dont even know the man and he call'a me sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you son'a ma bitch. I gonna go back to Italy.

Rick Steves' Italian Phrase Book and Dictionary

Italian for Dummies (With Audio CD)

LITTLE JOHNNY...

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"

New Seatbelt Law...Urgent Pls pass on

New Seat Belt Law

This becomes effective May 1 2010. The Federal Road Safety Commission has done extensive Testing on a newly Designed Seat Belt.
Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 95%
when the belt is properly installed.

Correct Installation is illustrated below...

Please pass on to family and friends.

THIS MAY HELP SAVE A LIFE!

This can really save lives and lower blood pressure by 40%
I KNOW... YOU SMILED
Have A Nice Day

Alternative Solution To Mask For Swine Flu

To Mask for Swine Flu
The best mask of all….

Its easily available in case of emergency…..

if you do not have one you know where to find one....:)

LET US EVALUATE HOW MEDIA PORTRAYS MUSLIMS?

LET US EVALUATE HOW MEDIA PORTRAYS ........

Muslims are Fundamentalist, Extremist and Terrorist!
What do you think…?
Let's read some news…

Killing own children and wife



So what do NON-Muslims Do???









This is media depiction of events.
They never write Christian/Jews/ Atheist/Parsis etc.... killed his daughter/son etc…
Only they write and mention if he is Muslim.
This make you think of Muslim an Extremist and Fundamentalist.
Let's find some more crimes…




Incest Crimes

By Muslims

By Non-Muslim


Hmm….Now
What about Terrorism….following are muslims



Then who the following are???




These are NON-Muslims.

Are NOT they Terrorist??? ????????



Killer always belongs to some religion or faith. Only mention when he is Muslim.

One might say…
But Muslims are suicide bombers ….they are real terrorist

Let's have a look at the following…







Above are Muslim
Then who are the following??? ?







Policy recurs by the media…

See some Statics

CHICAGO PROJECT ON SUICIDE TERRORISM






79% are Communist and Christians suicide bombers.
21% Islamist.


Palestine about 60% RELEGIOUS (SURELY MUSLIMS)
AlQaeda 100% Religious (Off course Muslims)




BUT WHY MORE MUSLIMS IN PALESTINE ARE SUICIDE BOMBER?????? ????????? ?????????

LET'S SEE
IS THIS BECAUSE THEY ARE IN STATE OF WAR AGAINST ISRAEL ?????

Hmmmm….. YES, I SEE TERRORIST HERE…..

If these are terrorist then who is terrorizing them?

I see terrorist, do you?

THESE ARE PALESTINIANS WITH IN PALESTINE (HOME).
CAN YOU BLAST A TANK WITH A SMALL STONE?
THEY CAN'T;
THEY NEED A BOMBER JACKET TO SAVE THEIR CHILDREN.


See brutal statics of Palestinians fatalities…

LET US EVALUATE HOW MEDIA PORTRAYS MUSLIMS as Terrorists, Fundumentalits, Extremists etc...

ALL FRIENDS ARE KINDLY REQUESTED TO FORWARD THIS MESSEGE TO AS MUCH AS YOU CAN INORDER TO LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT WHO ARE THE REAL TERRIORSTS.

ISLAM DERIVED FROM THE ARABIC WORD “SALM” WHICH MEANS PEACE. THEN WILL IT ALLOW TO BREAK IT????

India-The Incredible

ADULT STRESS TEST

Are the patterns moving?
Or
are they perfectly still??


The patterns are used to test the
Level of stress a person can handle..

The slower the pictures move, the
Better your ability of handling stress.

Alleged criminals that were tested
See them spinning around madly.

However, senior citizens and kids
See them standing still.

None of these images are animated
- they are perfectly still.

Final Image is Missing, Not sure post it or not?

Your Vacation Planner for 2009

There’s that new beach in Japan…

the “Skywalk” at the Grand Canyon

If you’re not afraid of heights, there’s "Tema Park" in Las Vegas